*~*Starrlightenment*~*: 2011

Monday, April 25, 2011

Ramblings on

♥ unrequited is like a baby that wont be quieted.
The mama paces back and forth, rushes up and down the stairs...
Kinda how the lover races south and north searching for, then finds, then stares...
At that ONE, the baby to the mama-- 'mah bayyybeee' to the lover is
always crying for more, never quite satisfied.
The mama paces back and forth, rushes up and down the stairs...
Kinda how the lover races south and north searching for, then finds, then stares...
these babies cry 'unrequited, I won't be quieted'
One wonders at the appetite mama has found, rushing up and down stairs
One wonders at the appetite the lover has found, now his search is complete...
Will her baby quiet? Will the lover eat?

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Got things on my mind...I need to be sleeping.

((AAAAAAHHH!!!!)) LOL I hate when there are so many things on my mind that my heart is racing and I cant focus. My body doesnt know if it wants to laugh or cry. It's all good though. I will be fine. My punctuation might be off in this post...it's 5:52 am sooo....who cares? I don't.
I'm a little bit frustrated with this moving situation. It's supposed to be a relief and all that but really I just feel like a row boat lost in the ocean. Too much going on around me that I cant control. I never have liked that adrift feeling. Never have. I will get over it soon I'm sure. I'm just venting about alot tonight. For example, I have a large family and believe it or not I have a lot of friends as well. I share a lot of my life with my family and I share the rest with my friends. I have some very good friends that I love like family and they have never even met my family. If I had to pick five friends, my family could name two. Three tops. That is because I like to keep certain things in my life separate from each other. It allows me a way to keep certain things for myself. Some friends judge your relationship with your family and feel the need to put three and four cents in when I didnt ask for two to begin with. I dont like that. I also dont like when family feels the need to talk about stuff they dont know about like my friends. If I didnt invite you in the door, stay your a** on the effing porch. I'm just saying. So this has been a point of contention with my family because I feel like they are being invasive. I have a FB and I often post status updates about what is going on in my life. Arguments, funny thoughts, random boring thoughts...what have you. My family often reads my status updates and get up in arms about what they assume is about them. For example, the other day stupid biotch calls my phone early in the AM on some garbage about what I said to a guy friend. She and I got into it, long story short, I was talking about her in a status. I said something about the bitch being fancy and non existent jealousy...random stuff. Anywho, my sister reads it and thinks its about her. WHY? I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA. I wasnt even mad at my sister. Hadnt said a cross word to eachother the whole damn day. I'm like the status update wasnt about you. Shes like who is it about? Not you. okay but who. It's like OMFG leave me alone I dont want to talk about it. My family's response, its facebook and you put it up there for the world to see and you dont want to talk about it and I dont like that. If you want to keep it private keep it off FB. put it in a diary.
My response is ummm no. I'm not being passive aggressive just because I dont want to share what's going on with YOU GUYS. Some things you share with family. Some things you share with friends. I shouldnt have to apologize or censor myself simply because you guys think everything is about you. Im not a quiet person. I say what needs to be said. If I really had a problem with you, I'm going to argue with you. You're family. I dont need to get on FB and call you a bitch to get a point across. Thats just silly. You call bitches in the street bitches. Not family. I'm just so frustrated. It's not private it's just not for you...simple as that. respect it or delete me. Anyway....this blog is so grammatically incorrect. smdh...oh well. Bedtime.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Hey subbies!!

I have really been slacking on my blogs and videos. I am so sorry about that. I have been preparing to move into my new apt and started a new semester at school. I am still intent upon doing a Vlog about my weight loss journey and plenty of make up tutorials and hair!! So please stay tuned to my youtube as well as my blog because even though I only have a few subscribers right now, I know that my fan base will grow through your continued support. I look forward to sharing my new things with you. I miss you guys!!

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